Callousness

I still refuse to speak directly to the Terri Schiavo case. I have my opinion, but I recognize that this is really a very murky question with no clear, well-defined answer. And even with my abstract, academic position on the matter, can I say what I would do if I were ever in Michael Schiavo's shoes? No. The question of allowing a loved one to die touched my family not too long ago, which perhaps explains why I am sensitive to both sides of the question.

Unfortunately, ever since the politicians got involved and hijacked the case for their own ends, the coldness and callousness of many people has been disturbing. And it comes from both sides. From those who support the husband, there is a increasingly hard attitude that of course Terri should die. Look at her. How could anyone want to keep that alive? Supporters of her parents, who want to keep Terri alive, increasingly demonize her husband, accusing him of, among other things, trying to murder his wife now to cover up his attempted murder 15 years ago. (And, by that way, that has to be one of the most asinine things to come out of this whole saga. If you've ever seen someone who has been strangled, and I have, you know that their necks are covered in garish bruises that, short of severed limbs or multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, are among the first things medical professionals are going to notice when examining a patient. And, of course, no one noticed anything when Terri was first brought in.)

Anyone forced into the position Michael Schiavo has been forced into (and these choices are made every day) must make a terribly difficult decision, one which will impact the very life of a person they love. Yet so many people, filled with opinions formed from a distance and having never had to make such a decision, simply ignore the enormity of what these men and women face and add unnecessary pain to an already impossible situation. Josh Marshall published an email from a reader who made the choice not to pull the plug on his mother and relates the condescension, shock, and opposition with which this decision was met. On other side of the fence, Andrew Sullivan records an email from a reader who made the decision to take his mother off life support and writes of the indignance of a family member at the decision. This emailer writes of those who disagreed with the choice made there, "[T]hey do it with a conviction that is rude, intrusive and without compassion or regard for those of us who have to make an anguishing decision." Those words, I imagine, would describe Marshall's emailer's experience as well.

Both these emailers and the thousands of others forced to make similar choices have faced something more agonizing than most of us can possibly comprehend. As people spout their abstract morality, they should never forget this and should show the men and women involved a lot more sympathy and a lot less contempt.